Today was Father's day. Can't say I was overly thrilled with celebrating the holiday. Granted my dad is still with us at 68 but I am not feeling to fatherly at the moment with my own kids.
Then of course the one movie I wanted to see for my Father's day present isn't in theaters anymore. I am a huge King Arthur fan and really wanted to go see it with the wife but of course there is only one showing and it is at 10:20 at night. No way with the kids that we can make something like that happen. Just another fine example of how things work out for me. Didn't have the money to see it when it first come out and now that I can see it then it is gone. SMH
Again, I know some of this sounds petty, and it is, until it has happened to you a million freaking times in your life. It is almost like you can see the finish line but that one person gets there just ahead of you and then the race no longer matters because you lost. Or you really wanted that orange soda and the person in front of you just bought the last one right before your eyes.
I am tired though. So tired. I have nothing left in the tank and life really has no type of value except to make it through to the next day. There are times I feel bad, as a father, that I brought kids into this world. Whatever pain comes on them I am partly to blame for because it was half my decision to have them. Maybe they can have better lives then I have had and that is the dream of every parent but I just don't see this world getting any better any time soon. I could be wrong though and I usually am.
So here is to another Father's day. Made another day. We will see how tomorrow holds up.