Yeah, I haven't done much drawing lately. Not really sure what I want to draw anymore and even if I want to draw. It use to bring me so much pleasure but now it seems to be more of a burden then enjoyment.
I know the recent set back has a lot to do with it but I guess I am just tired of failing. It is like beating your head against a brick wall over and over. I also guess I have to high of expectations on people. I take the word "friend" and it has a lot of value to me. Others just don't seem to think that way. The one thing I have learned is that my wife is by my side. She is my biggest fan and supporter. That is the way it is suppose to be but it would be nice to have a friend that took the word and held it at the same value I did.
It is late and I am rambling but isn't that what blogs are for? My ramblings.
My walk with God is not close anymore. I am tired and it seems that He never really allows me to have to much success for whatever reason. I could not put my finger on it. I don't think it is becuase I don't work hard or at least I don't think it is that reason. I tend to put in a lot of hours. I don't know. It is frustrating. I know He knows what is best but dang give me a little hope. I need it.
Tonight, I worked on a lot of Grimm sketches. Grimm is my first book that I ever did and out of all my characters is the one that represents me the closest. Drawing him and the gang tends to remind me why I love drawing and what heroes use to mean to me. Of course I did not really get anything done, as the title says, doddles get in the way of any real work. Nothing of real production value. Kind of sad.
Hope this depression and gloom leaves soon. It isn't something I am use to having set up camp in my life.