Tuesday, November 27, 2012

A day in November

It is hard to believe this year is almost over. It has been a crazy year. My son, Logan, was born in Febuary and he has been a handful to say the lest. Two of my projects: Gun Ghoul and Techlore are almost complete and all four issues will be ready for sale come next year. Cherry Bomb has a new penciler and is going well. Dragonseed is on issue two and the studio is getting ready to lauch a new website. For the most part it has been a good year. I do wish I could have been more productive with my art. I don't think I really completed to many pieces but I will have to change that due to the fact that I am doing a weekly web comic over at the Alpha Dog Studios web site. I hope December is good for everyone and I should have more updates for everyone.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Time is a flying

I have really been busy as of late. not a bad thing but finding time seems to be a hard thing to do. This design is a little update for my Shadowguard project that will be a web comic that I am producing for the Alpha Dog Studios web page. You will be able to get a new page of story each week and after a year I will collect it into a book for sale at shows or on line. I have not decided if I am going to draw the book in a more cartoony style; like that I posted, or more of a Joe Madish type style. Trying to find out which fits the book more has been frustraiting to say the lest. Hopefully, I can post up more designs in the next couple of days and see where the pencils and story is taking me. Hope you dig it.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Pushing on.

I am still going through some type of funk. I really haven't wanted to draw anything lately and my creative juices have slowed to almost a crawl. I have to force myself to write and draw. It is prety sad. I use to never have these type of issues. Not really sure what is going on. Anyway, the image I posted is a WIP of a Wolverine and Sabertooth piece I am working on. The exercise I am going for here is shapes and distance. I haven't ueed a grid and I am just trying to eyeball. Hope to finish it soon. Thanks.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Restless

Well, I am finally getting over some type of flu or cold nonsense. It hit me last Friday pretty bad and hasn't really let up much until today. I hate having a stopped up or running nose. The art is still at a stand still. Getting sick did not help that at all. My motivation has just went straight down hill. It isn't that I don't have work because I have a couple projects plus my own books that are going to be published through Hound comics but I just haven't had the motivation to do any of it. The failed Kickstarter campaign really hit me hard and I have yet to recover. I know most folks will not really understand why the Kickstarter thing affected me so much but it has more to do with just about everything in my life and failed goals. I have never really stood out in most things I have done. For the most part I was always good at a lot of things but never great at any one thing. This was always a frustration to me. I failed in the militarty because I just could not take orders, which has a lot to do with the way I was raised and the fact I did not have either parent there and I pretty much raised myself from 12 on. I failed in my first marriage and now my kids are going through the same hell I went through. I failed as a preacher because of my first marriage failing and now I have failed with the comic book launch. It gets old. Sometimes you just need a win to get you over the hill. I am 41 and really don't see that I have made much of the time that God has given me. The world would be no more or less effected if I was here or not. It is funny; when you are young you think you are going to grab the world by the horns and make it bend to you but then as you get older and the horns have punctured you a couple of times; you realize that you did not have big enough hands to hold the horns. Hopefully, something will change with me shortly. Either I can get a spark to draw or I can find another career but I need something for my sanity and the well being of my family.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Motivation is on vacation. UGH.

It has really been crazy the last couple of weeks. Between the failed Kickstarter campaign, and my newborn son, my ability and desire to draw has just vanished. I don't really know what the freak is up with that at all. It isn't that I don't have work to do. I have two 11 page stories that I have to illustrate and two of my own books to script and get ready for print. I've went through droughts before because that is part of being an artist but this one is different. For the first time in a long time I am considering other vocations. It even crossed my mind to go back to college and get my masters in criminal psycology or criminal behavior. Maybe return to doing criminal investigations like I did in the military. I don't know if it would be that bad a thing to become a private investigator or do personal security. I have the connections to do it but I just don't know. This is evne the first time I have even acknowledged that it is a possible way to go. I am just tired of fighting an endless battle with nonsense. The comic industry is pretty full of it. Political bullcrap that I have never been good at because I am not one to hide my convictions. This of course doesn't sit to well with those that only want to be surrounded by yes men and heaven forbid you aren't a liberal because that in itself is a death mark. Also, it doesn't help that my art is subpar and I am not sure that I have the motivation to keep trying to improve. It is just hard for me to justify the work. If I could see a pay off then maybe but I don't think there would be much of one in comics. Another isssue is that I always seem to run into folks that have screwed me in the past and somehow I am suppose to just sweep that stuff under the rug and still work with them. This is just stupid to me. Why would you work with folks that you know are going to screw you due to them already screwing you once before? There is no common sense involved in that train of thought. I thought about making a list and seeing the pro and cons of doing art and comics but really I don't know if I could come up with any pros. The worse part is that I just don't have any enjoyment in it at all. I know this could be just me going through a rut but it feels different then my other ruts I have fought through. Just don't know. Sorry no art with this post. I haven't really drawn as I stated above.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Doddles get in the way.

Yeah, I haven't done much drawing lately. Not really sure what I want to draw anymore and even if I want to draw. It use to bring me so much pleasure but now it seems to be more of a burden then enjoyment. I know the recent set back has a lot to do with it but I guess I am just tired of failing. It is like beating your head against a brick wall over and over. I also guess I have to high of expectations on people. I take the word "friend" and it has a lot of value to me. Others just don't seem to think that way. The one thing I have learned is that my wife is by my side. She is my biggest fan and supporter. That is the way it is suppose to be but it would be nice to have a friend that took the word and held it at the same value I did. It is late and I am rambling but isn't that what blogs are for? My ramblings. My walk with God is not close anymore. I am tired and it seems that He never really allows me to have to much success for whatever reason. I could not put my finger on it. I don't think it is becuase I don't work hard or at least I don't think it is that reason. I tend to put in a lot of hours. I don't know. It is frustrating. I know He knows what is best but dang give me a little hope. I need it. Tonight, I worked on a lot of Grimm sketches. Grimm is my first book that I ever did and out of all my characters is the one that represents me the closest. Drawing him and the gang tends to remind me why I love drawing and what heroes use to mean to me. Of course I did not really get anything done, as the title says, doddles get in the way of any real work. Nothing of real production value. Kind of sad. Hope this depression and gloom leaves soon. It isn't something I am use to having set up camp in my life.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Saturday storms

It has stormed here most the day. I love some good storms. It cleans away the bad and refreshes for the new. I finished up a piece last night and I may end up making a web comic with the character. I am not really sure yet but I like the character. Still staying away from most the inter net. I have seen or read people really going crazy about gun control now due to the senseless act in Colorado on Friday morning. I don't own a gun but I do not believe that folks should not have the right to own them. This incident doesn't change my view on this at all. The fact is that any gun control law is only going to affect those that follow the laws. Criminals will still find a way and now the innocent law abiding citizens would not be able to defend themselves. Also, the whole reason our fore fathers put this law in the books was to make sure our own government could not become tyrants over the us and the land. I do think that if our government tries to make us follow the UN gun agenda that you could possible see some riots in the street. The UN doesn't dictate American laws or rights. This goes back to the whole "world order" nonsense. Of course this is just my two cents in all of it but I can't see good ol souther boys handing over their fire arms to anyone.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

It is crazy how God works.

Well, it has been a good week or so from the horrible incident that was the Gun Ghoul kickstarter campaign. To say that I did not come away from it with a little bit of a bitter taste in my mouth would be an understatement. Tonight, God reminded me why I am on this Earth. It isn't comics or any other media but to witness and be there for others. I lost sight of that and got wrapped up in the idea of "success". The truth is that real success is leading others to Christ's gift and God's love. It isn't saling a comic book or making another dime. I always seem to forget this and get wrapped up in what the world is chasing for one reason or another but the main reason is that I am weak. I can blame this reason or that reason but the fact is that as strong as I think I am with my relationship with God; well I aint. I don't know that I ever will be. Maybe God will have to break me down over and over again until I finally dead and gone. I hope not. It would be nice to be smart enough to learn from your mistakes but that usually isn't the trend with me. I am a stubborn child. At least I know though that I have a caring Heavenly Father that loves me enough to discipline me when I need it and forgive me when I ask. Now saying all that I have decided that this blog will be the main source of my inter net updates and such. I am not going to do the facebook thing much because it is just to much negative on there and it tends to suck me into arguements that just have no value. This blog will allow me to process my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs freely without too many conflicts. I just don't want them or need them in my life right now. So, I am going to try and update this at least once or twice a week. Thanks for reading and putting up with my rambling. Be blessed and remember God loves you and He cares for you.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Grimm #1 download for $1.50

Hey gang We are now offering the first issue of Grimm for sale as a downloadable pdf. It is only a $1.50, and if this one goes well, we will add more Alpha Dog Studios titles to sale as downloads. So please go help an indy book out. Grimm is created and written by Will Caligan, pencils by Bat Hilliard, inks by Mark Stegbauer and colors by the Bojans.
So please help us out and let us know what you think of the book. Thanks.